DO YOU HAVE THIS FEELING???
I am talking about usurped situations and circumstance that stops you or prevent your emotions muscles to react or generate any kind of movement that add meaning or feature to the moment. I m talking about the feeling of complete black out not in total rush but in a strange ways. My point is of emotions that you always want to talk about or want to eloquently express just to show that you are concern about the person or the thing or whatever it may be. It’s kind of lame but the feeling is “BLANK” like lost ,something like you have engulf your tongue on the right moment when you can create a difference to it.
Sometimes when someone dear to you is going away and you want to say that you gonna miss him/her. And you want to tell her that you will be there for her through good or bad and she can always count on you and want to tell her that whatever she does for you. you won’t be able to pay it back because that’s like a disgrace to your relationship but you just want to express your gratitude toward her, just a emotion breakdown to tell he/she matter to you a lot. The feeling of being with your friend is amazing and lively. But then on the urge of this magical moment the feeling arises that “should I say it or not?” Like -“To be or not to be?” really tough one. Will she be able to understand me Or she will start avoiding me or consider the ball is in her court now and she can play her games according to her protocols. Or she might think that whatever I said is from my heart and I meant it. It’s a pure combat of “will she? Would she? She might not? Shall I? I don’t think so? And generally it concludes with one of these “better to stay silent or I should initiate and confront it or skipping is a good option to consider?” But when this conflict was under transaction, a picture of the positive street arises with different cars of negative thoughts blocking it and creates an unwanted traffic and while clearly that blockage in your city of emotions… the perfect moment descends and it’s gone, leaving us blank and confused. You feel like you are standing in a field and your are about to catch the ball but sudden there is a disorder in your system and you miss that simple shot that is under your skin and you can grab that but your emotions ambush you and activate your panic alarm and you are like clueless and crestfallen.
This feeling of being lost is not just over the territory of magical, happy and exuberant moments but it has expanded its range over all the worst and changeling moments too. Like I remember when we are perplex or under a state of bewilder and you want to say something to that a person who is responsible for all that hustle puzzle in your life. But you are helpless and blank, a complete back out….a combat is there in your mind and your feel baffled but your mouth is not reacting...there is no sensation not a single word just pure silence…don’t know why…I mean what’s wrong with you?? Lost your mind….hello are you there??? Somebody just insulted you…you should be provoked and in motion…aleast fire some nasty words on him...but no nothing happen and you chance is gone…you got carried away…feels like a douche bag..Such a moron...who could not defend himself….
But it’s not like that, it’s not like you are a coward and a traitor to your own pride but it’s who you are...it’s in your nature and you can’t change….its waste to torment yourself… some people are like that you know…I m not referring about introvert but people who feel that explaining or being phony is not a best way to store it in memory…few things are better said in silence…if you are listening…but for nasty situation I would say that it’s who you are..You can’t cheat yourself….I personally feel that whatever the damages that other person done to you does not deserve the same treatment…you can add your personal touch. You can make it more substantial…you know sometimes absorbing and waiting for your turn is very fruitful…may be you got the whole court to play…just you need time strength and sense of vision…nasty words or a childish combat not always conquer the standards. It can provide you immediate relief but that is for short duration, not a thing that last long. I mean what is use of short term services if they doesn’t profit you for long you need to confiscate the pride and most important your confidence on you, which matters a lot .Now back to you consider your nature and potentials, like something you have within you are a civilized, erratic, absorbent and inevitable factor in you and require space to disclose your X-factor and your strike, the main motto to do this is surprise yourself and do something unexpected that astonish you. Remember if you respect yourself others will also respect you. And Do something to the person that he won’t even imagine to desert you in his dreams.
Always remember you are special and life is a beautiful mess, which will always crush you, drill you and confiscate your strengths, but you have to pass the riddles and drills and on every checkpoint you will receive a reward of priceless memories that are everlasting and enrich your life with love and dear ones….and its worth to live with…
You know sometimes when I write I feel I am sending all my thoughts in a null void galaxy…like there is no one listening me…no one…I want opinions, thoughts, comments…so who ever out their reading this and feeling the virtue…please react ,silence does not count much…I need comments so that I can continue with what I am doing with a positive energy…a response of any kind will be considerable..
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